Hi Bear,

First, I am sorry for your loss.  Thirteen years of caregiving is an enormous commitment, and dealing with this on top of grief is genuinely hard.  Let me give you some clarity on what is actually happening and what you can do.

What January 15 likely means

What the lender sent is almost certainly a Due and Payable notice, not a foreclosure notice.  Those are very different things.  When a borrower on a reverse mortgage passes away, the loan becomes due and payable, and the servicer sends a notice.  HUD gives heirs 30 days from that notice to communicate their intentions - meaning whether you plan to sell the home, refinance it, or let it go.  January 15 is likely the 30-day response deadline, not the day you lose the home.

You are not being foreclosed on in 30 days.  That is not how this works.

What you need to do right now

Call the servicer today.  Tell them you received the notice and are actively working on your next steps.  That communication matters.  As long as you are engaging with them and working toward a resolution, extensions are available.  HUD allows heirs up to 12 months in total to sell the home or arrange financing before foreclosure proceedings begin.  The servicer needs to know you are working on it.

A few things to investigate immediately

Was your wife's mother on the title to the home?  If she was listed as a Non-Borrowing Owner or had any ownership interest in the property, that changes her rights in this situation and needs to be clarified with the servicer right away.

Are you or your wife heirs to the estate?  If so, you have the right to sell the home or refinance it into a traditional loan to pay off the reverse mortgage balance if the home has equity beyond what is owed that belongs to the estate.

If the loan balance exceeds the home's current value, you are not on the hook for the difference.  A reverse mortgage is a non-recourse loan.  The most that will ever be owed is the home's value.

Get legal help

If the estate is in probate or you are not sure about the inheritance situation, contact a probate attorney.   Many offer free initial consultations and some legal aid organizations provide free services.  An attorney can also help slow things down if needed while you sort out your living situation.

You have more time than you think.  Call the servicer today, let them know you are engaged, and get legal counsel as soon as you can.

Reference: HUD Handbook 4000.1, Section VI - HECM Servicing and Due and Payable provisions.